Hello fellow babies. I hope you all behaving yourselves. Badly.
Today me and mummy go restaurant with Nanna and Pop. I admit, I not terribly sausagey. I did try to lose my shoe, bash the table very loudly with my cup, and throw my toys on the floor. However, my non-sausageyness totally out-done by Other Baby. Other Baby go 'sleep' the whole time her mummy and daddy have nice civilised lunch. Also, her mummy and daddy tell my Nanna she sleep through the night the night before. She five weeks old. I expel her from Union of Babies ON THE SPOT. I tell her this but of course she sleep so she no know. Baby Ella who was in Zizzi in Cheltenham today lunchtime - you no longer a member of Union of Babies!
I wonder if UoB able to do anything about fact I am battered baby. [Natalie!] Mummy beat me with a stick and I have bruise to show it. [NATALIE!] Oh, okay, mummy carelessly allow me to fall over and hurt myself. [Natalie. Stop it.] Mummy ... [NATALIE! WHO caused your bruise?] Oh. Okay. If you insist. I headbutt the table in the restaurant and give myself bruise on head. [Anything to add?] I did it on purpose. [And?] I cried. Actually now I think of it I quite sausagey in restaurant after all. Yay me!